The silent killer

I want to talk about this issue because it's been popping up all over my life. I myself have had the dreaded thing, but I'm also wanting to let people know...I fought it and won. Depression.

For those who don't seem to realize...it's so much more than just being 'sad' or hating your appearance. It's constant suicidal thoughts...yeah, you ARE sad, and hate what you look like, but all you want to do is die. You don't have a social life much, you isolate yourself from everyone. You think too much at night of everything that's wrong with you, with what you do, with your life. Anxiety adds on, not being able to breath, the tears, the shaking, the worrying about everything. Seeing everyone around you, you think they're judging you. When they laugh, you automatically think it's about you. You feel worthless, stupid, annoying, useless, and no one really cares about you. The constant urges to jump in front of cars, the urges to cut, that leads to anxiety attacks. The scars that you look at and feel weak. You feel like you have absolutely no one, your whole life is a living hell. Depression is like a rope around your neck, and the longer you try to fight for your life, the tighter the rope gets. It's like a tornado and once the big storm is over, you're left with the scars, the bruises, the thoughts, the sadness...and the memories of hell. The fake smiles. Telling everyone you're just tired when you're really dying inside. Screaming for someone to help you. Realizing no one will ever love you. I mean who would love a depressed a suicidal girl after all? Don't ever wish for depression or take it lightly, you don't want it. Trust me.
My good news for those who may be going through it at the moment is that if you survive and stay strong? It does eventually get better (even if it does take multiple years). You also have to get rid of the people in your life constantly pulling you down.
And lastly, no joke it does help a lot in the long run.

Talk To Someone.

Thanks for taking the time to read this xx